Ladies and Gentlemen, meet "Dr. Fartsworth," the silent but deadly passenger sitting near me tonight on United Flight #167 from Boston to Los Angeles. At various intervals during the cross-country flight, Dr. Fartsworth would glance furtively around him before letting loose a fart so pungent that it gave new meaning to the word "flatulent." "There must be some mistake," I mused as we passed over the Great Lakes. "The rest of us are heading to LAX but he seems to flying into EX-LAX." On the other hand, perhaps we were lucky. With someone like Dr. Fartsworth on board, you know the plane will never run out of gas ...!