Monday, April 6, 2009


Tension was mounting yesterday at 7th and Montana as a Perky UCLA Student made the scene with an Annoying Questionnaire. "I'm conducting a little survey," she chirped, "It will only take a few minutes, do you mind answering a few questions?" I usually don't agree to these things, especially when I'm engrossed in the Sunday Crossword, but -- like I said -- she was Perky. "Sure, I'll take the survey ... no problem," I replied. "Great," she smiled, "It's all about the Economy. We're trying to get a handle on just how anxious everyone is!" And with that, she handed me the most depressing one-page questionnaire I've ever seen. Questions ranged from "Do you worry about losing your job?" to "How much sleep per night would you say you are losing due to the economy?" and "How would you describe your mental state: Anxious, Depressed or Simply Worried?" In other words, she was stacking the deck. I know a thing or two about surveys and, trust me, this one is guaranteed to generate another round of Gloom and Doom headlines. So, I marched right up to her and exchanged a few Cross Words of my own. "Here you go," I said, handing her back the questionnaire, "Now I have a few questions for you: "What's an 11-letter word for Squab Sycophant?" and "How about a four-letter word for the Composer of 'Rule Britannia'"?!? She looked at me sheepishly and took off for Greener Pastures, heading due East towards Peet's Coffee ...!


garnett109 said...

Ok what is an 11 letter word for squab sycophant?
And what the hell is one anyway?

Marty said...

Hey Johnny -- the answer re. "Squab Sycophant" was "Pigeontoady." It was one of the "cutesy" answers related to the mystery clue in yesterday's puzzle.

Beth said...

Hm, I guessed "pigeonlover," but "pigeontoady" definitely is cuter.

It's amazing how anyone writing survey questions can influence the outcome because of their own biases. I think in court, you might have said, "Your Honor, this women is leading the witness!"

Hugs, Beth

Rose said...

Garnett beat me to it asking the same question I was going to ask.........Pigeontoady! LOL

I haven't seen a survey taker in quite some time. They used to be all over the Malls years ago.

Hugs, Rose

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

I think it would be fun to be a survey writer, creating twists and turns, leading society down any path I wanted :o)

Kattytrick said...

Personaly, I hate surveys! And you're right, they generaly are slanted one way or the other. Especialy if they are mulit. choised. (almost like a self-fufilling prophecy)!__=^..^=__Kittie

Mark and Elayne said...

I had to call my mum, the cross-word queen to ask her waht was a 11 letter for squab sycophant. She is the only other person I knew who knew it was Pigontoady (I think she looked it up)
Remind me not to cross words with you.