PASS THE PETRI DISH ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Head for the Hills, folks! Typhoid Tillie is in town and she's taken-up residence at Our Favorite Starbucks. She was last spotted on Sunday, coughing up a storm near the espresso bar ... and she wasn't covering her mouth. Her coughing grew louder and more intense until Barista Kenisha offered the poor woman a cup of water. "Yes, water might be a good idea," said Tillie, "Before I infect the whole place!" Just when I was wondering what to reach for first -- my Spycam or my Purell -- Tillie walked right up to my table. "Pardon me," she rasped, "May I borrow your Travel Section?" She started reaching in my direction. "You can have it," I said quickly, "I won't be needing it back." "Oh no," she said, "I insist on returning it ... I just want to look at it quickly." With any luck, she was researching airfares to a nice, relaxing destination where she can recuperate. Like Siberia ...!