CURSES, FOILED AGAIN ... AT STARBUCKS IN BERLIN

Whenever I'm in Berlin, I like to stop by the Starbucks on Hans-von-Bulow Strasse -- right on the old border between East and West Berlin -- simply to have fun with the Baristas. I always order a Grande Half Caff and they always look at me like I have three heads. You see, they don't serve brewed decaff in Berlin, so they've never heard of a half caff. That's what makes it all so much fun. Today, however, the joke was on me. I arrived at Starbucks at 9:00 a.m., only to find one lone Barista standing outside at the door. "Sorry," she said, "We're not open yet due to circumstances beyond my control." "I hope it's nothing major," I said. "Well," she replied, "An assistant manager overslept." I couldn't wait and was forced to grab my coffee at a portable coffee cart called an "Espresso-Ambulanz." It was, perhaps, the worst cup of coffee I've ever tasted. As for the assistant manager at Starbucks, I hope someone called him or her an "Espresso Ambulence."