IT'S A BIRD, IT'S A PLANE, IT'S ELLIPTIGO ...!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I hope you're sitting down, because what you are about to learn will amaze you: A mysterious newcomer made the scene at 7th and Montana last weekend riding a bicycle without a seat. "Hi there," I said, quietly whipping out my Spycam, "Your bike seems to be missing a seat." "It's supposed to be that way," she said, "It's called an Elliptigo and it's really cool ... it gives you a great workout, like a cross between a bike and an elliptical trainer." She pulled out a brochure and handed me a business card which identified her as an "Independent Enthusiast." According to the brochure, the Elliptigo is "the closest substitute for running outdoors." I guess that means you can either buy one for $2,199 or run outdoors. "These things must be really popular," I said. "Oh yes, they are," she agreed. One thing's for sure, there's standing room only ...!