LET THEM EAT CAKE ... ON LUFTHANSA FLIGHT #457

A funny thing happened last night on Lufthansa Flight #457 to Frankfurt: There weren't any Loons sitting beside me. Instead, I sat next to a polite, interesting man named Wilson who has been working in China. We spent a good deal of time talking about what it's like to do business in other countries. The Loon was sitting directly behind him. Ladies and Gentlemen, meet the Doughboy, a man whose motto -- like Marie Antoinette -- should be "let them eat cake." Shortly after dinner, the Doughboy tapped Wilson on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me, sir, I can't finish my cake. Would you mind offering it to the adorable young lady sitting in front of you?" Sure enough, sitting directly in front of Wilson was a girl who looked a lot like a ten-year-old Lindsay Lohan. Wilson was stunned. "I'm sorry," he said, "You want me to offer your leftover cake to the girl sitting in front of me?!?" The Doughboy stood up, reached over Wilson's seat and held his leftover cake in front of him. "Yes," he said, "And please tell her it's from me." Wilson did as instructed, but -- not surprisingly -- the girl's mother intervened with a polite "Thanks but no thanks." From then on, it was open season. "Excuse me, Wilson," I said, "I have a perfectly good leftover dinner roll here. Would you mind offering it to the man sitting behind you?" Several minutes later, I tried to get him to accept an unopened packet of crackers, followed by a package of pretzels, some ranch salad dressing and a used napkin. Like I said, I wasn't sitting next to any loons today ... but maybe Wilson was!