Ladies and Gentlemen, meet "Fannie," an annoying butt-inski who spent a good portion of United Flight #935 from London to Los Angeles sticking her rear end in my face. You see, her friend was sitting at the opposite side of the aisle from me and Fanny wanted to visit. Not just visit, mind you, but lean over and whisper in her ear for what seemed like an eternity. I first noticed Fannie when I woke up after a short nap ... only to find her bum floating over my tray table like a moon over Miami. I smiled and looked at the man sitting next to me. "Looks like the flight attendant brought us some buns, eh?" He laughed but was furious because -- how can I put this delicately -- her ass was so big it was infringing on his space, as well. "Not to worry," I said, "There's an app for that." I whipped out my Spycam and pointed it in Fannie's direction. "Go for it," my seatmate urged. "It's moments like these that make me wish I had a wide-angle lens," I replied. And with that, I snapped the picture. The only problem was, I had forgotten to turn off the Flash after Wednesday night's event. Fannie turned around. I smiled sheepishly and said, "What can I say? I'm an amateur photographer." My seatmate told her to butt out. In retrospect, I guess I owe Fannie a debt of gratitude. Afterall, if it weren't for her, I might get a little Behind in my blog ...!