Ladies and Gentlemen, meet "Mr. Oinck," the scourge of United Flight #885 to Osaka. Shortly after we reached a cruising altitude of 30,000 feet, Mr. Oinck began clipping his fingernails and -- I suspect -- his toenails, as well. Passengers watched in amazement as he allowed the clippings to fall on and around his seat. Later, for some inexplicable reason, he pulled the cushion from his seat, scattering the clippings around a wider radius. I guess Mr. Oinck is a lucky man. Had we encountered any turbulence while he was clipping his nails, there's a good chance that "this little piggy" would have gone to market, permanently ...!