Saturday, April 4, 2009

TO CATCH A THIEF ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!


They say that crime doesn't pay, but try telling that to the Notorious Neighborhood Newspaper Thief, a local felon known for stealing copies of The New York Times and The Los Angeles Times from Our Favorite Starbucks when he thinks no one is looking. The thief made the scene at 7th and Montana this morning, but this time we were ready: Robb provided a professional, play-by-play account of the thief's activities, Robin offered color commentary and I worked the camera. "There he goes," announced Robb loudly, "He's walking to the Newspaper Bin ... He's reaching, he's reaching ... but wait, he's going for one of the freebies in the leftover bin, instead ... No, don't do it, don't settle, don't settle ... You're clear, just grab a whole newspaper from the sales display ... no one is looking!" The thief was tricky. First he grabbed someone's leftover classified section, then he quickly slipped a New York Times inside it and scuttled out the door faster than you can say highway robbery. "And that, my friends, is why newspapers are going out of business," said Robin, archly. Insiders estimate that the thief steals a minimum of $1,106 worth of newspapers from Our Favorite Starbucks each year.

5 comments:

garnett109 said...

Put The Freakin' fritter bin over there, I bet he won't steal those!

Lynne said...

Makes one wonder what he is doing with all those newspapers? Recyclying for money?

Myra said...

...and once he's read the paper, then what? Maybe he needs toilet paper or something to read while he's doing his business...

Rose said...

Your phone camera certainly comes in handy!

Hugs, Rose

Beth said...

He is incredibly brazen after being outed with your "Wanted" posters. Shocking!