It was a Crime Wave of astronomical proportions at 7th and Montana this morning as a series of no-goodniks made the scene with one thing in mind: Stealing Newspapers. "Look ... Newspaper Thief!," cried Robb. "What?," I replied, "Is the Notorious Newspaper Thief back?" "No, it's his protege, that woman sitting in the corner." Sure enough, an attractive woman in her mid-to-late thirties had stolen today's Los Angeles Times and slipped it under her chair when she thought no one was looking. "Why do people do that?," asked Robin, "Don't they know that newspapers are suffering these days?" "I guess they don't realize that crime doesn't pay," I said, whipping out my Spycam. Speaking of which, according to official City of Santa Monica Police Reports, the Wild Woman who attacked her ex-husband on November 1 is one step closer to trading-in her purple jumpsuit for something a bit more institutional. She was arrested under California Penal Code 273.5(A)PC: "Inflicting Corporal Injury on a Spouse, Co-Habitant or Fellow Parent resulting in Bodily Injury." Oh, well, as she herself says on her My Space page, "I would never (almost!) turn down an adventure ...!"