It was a covert operation at 7th and Montana this morning as a Suspicious Newcomer made the scene carrying a shopping bag filled with what at Starbucks must surely qualify as an Illegal Substance: Four steaming cups of coffee from the nearby Cafe Deluxe. He tried to hide the bag behind his newspaper ... but I noticed it right away. "Well, well, well," I said, "What do we have here? Bringing outside coffee into Starbucks, are we?" He turned beet red and started stammering. "Well, err, it's like this ... I don't like Starbucks coffee, so I just come here to buy the newspaper." "Aha," I replied, "Just as I thought. No doubt you like the atmosphere better here, right?" "I guess you caught me red-handed," he said. "Not to worry," I replied, whipping out my Spycam, "Your secret is safe with me ... I won't tell a single soul!" What a Nincompoop! I'll bet he spends his spare time bringing Tacos to Taco Bell and Pizza to Pizza Hut, too ...!