GIANT HAM ALERT ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Hold the mustard, folks ... there's a Giant Talking Sandwich in town and if you're not careful, he'll talk your buns off. The sandwich, known among insiders as "Subbie," is really just a Poor Schlubb in a costume, hired to promote the new Subway location across from Our Favorite Starbucks. He claims to be a Giant Turkey on Rye, but anyone who saw him skip across 7th Street this morning would agree he's all Ham. He made a beeline for Ace Photographer Kovar (pictured below) and wasted no time telling him about the Super Subway Special. "Just for today," he cried, "Buy one sandwich and get one free!" "Really," Kovar said, "What a deal ... thanks for sharing!" And then, as "Subbie" ran across the street in hot pursuit of a jogger, Kovar said what he was really thinking. "So this is what it's all come down to," he said, "Stuck at the corner of 7th and Montana, shooting the breeze with a Giant Sandwich. Can I sink any lower?!?" Kovar -- who usually travels the world from one exotic assignment to the next -- has been home for more than a month and he's obviously getting bored. Don't worry, Kovar, I'm sure you'll be sandwiching something new into your schedule in no time ...!