I've really got to hand it to Neighbor Malissa. She found just the right way to make me feel like even more of an Inactive Slug than I already am. "I have an idea," she said this morning, "Let's go Paddle Surfing this weekend!" I wasn't quite sure how to respond. "Paddle surfing?," I said, "That sounds serious." "Oh it's great," she said, "You stand on a surboard and use a paddle like an oar." "Hmmm," I replied, "I think it would be an -- aaahm -- cold day in Hell before I tried something like that!" Visions of me scraping the ocean floor swam through my head, but I tried to keep my feelings to myself. "You know, I think I have an idea that just might make Paddle Surfing even more fun," I said, "How about if we add large walls, a mast and an outboard motor to the surfboard and call it a boat?" Do that -- and hire a captain -- and you can count me in ...!