ATM HOG ... AT BANK OF AMERICA

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet "the Phony," an anonymous nincompoop who made the scene at the BofA machine on 5th Street yesterday, intent on doing anything but a bank transaction. Despite the fact that a long line was forming behind him, the Phony decided to hold up traffic by taking a lengthy phone call. "Ha, ha, ha ...," he laughed, evidently at some joke, "That's a good one. Did I send you that e-mail I got from Nick? You'll laugh your ass off ... Just a sec, I have it here, I'll forward it." The line meanwhile kept getting longer. The bank machine beeped and spit out the Phony's card, but he just reinserted it and continued his conversation. Ten minutes later, I was gone but he was still at it. Phonies like him give new meaning to the word ATM: "Any time, Moron ...!"