Friday, July 22, 2011


Ladies and Gentlemen, meet "the Expert," the know-it-all who loudly decided to catalog his accomplishments Wednesday night aboard United Flight #663 to Los Angeles. He sat one row behind me but he might as well have been shouting into my ear with a megaphone. "I'm a rocket scientist," he announced to the man sitting next to him, "You'd be amazed at what just a little science applied to everyday life can do ...!" He went on and on. His three-year-old daughter, meanwhile, spent the flight coughing-up a lung and projectile sneezing all over the woman sitting next to me. "I'm going to need a shower when I get home," she said. "Looks like you're getting one right now," I replied. A copious amount of spittle landed on her shoulder. The woman turned around and glared at the Expert, but he was busy talking with the man sitting next to him. Sheesh. It doesn't take a Rocket Scientist to teach a child how to cover her mouth ...!


Webster said...

That's when Manners Be Damned - Tell the parent to tell his kid to cover her mouth when she sneezes, and if he doesn't "get it" - demonstrate to the child how to sneeze into her elbow. Geez Shneeze.

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

The perfect flight storm!

Beth said...

I think I might have said, "I'm a microbiologist, and your daughter is spewing virus particles all over the plane. Thanks for the rhinovirus, dude."

Ugh, people like that are so obnoxious.