Ladies and Gentlemen, meet "Surly Shirley," the scourge of the United Airlines check-in desk at Boston's Logan Airport. Shirley specializes in making Frequent Flyers feel like Pond Scum ... and here's how she does it. First, she stares at you as if you are beneath contempt. Then, without saying a word, she gestures to one of the Self-Service Kiosks that allow travelers to check themselves in. Finally, as if to say "You're on your own, Moron," she glares at you and storms off. I put Shirley to the test this afternoon when I checked-in for my flight back to Los Angeles. "Excuse me," I said, as she tried her best to ignore me, "Nothing against your Computers, but I prefer to deal with an Actual Human Being." Believe it or not, she continued ignoring me for an additional five minutes until finally one of her colleagues stepped-in to help me out. This, I might add, was at the "Premium" Check-in Area United reserves for its most Frequent Flyers. As I was leaving, I went up to Shirley, smiled broadly and commended her for her Outstanding Service. She looked at me, dumbfounded, as if to say ... "Surly, You Jest ...!"