Saturday, November 21, 2009

RABBARNACLE, AHOY ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!


Ladies and Gentlemen, meet the Rabbarnacle, a self-proclaimed Rabbi whose barnacle-like tendencies raised a ruckus at 7th and Montana this morning. I knew something was up from the moment he sat at my table. "Hi!-Do-you-mind-if-I-sit-here?-No?-Good!-Are-you-Jewish?-I'm-Jewish.-I'm-a-Rabbi-but-my-Yarmulke-is-at-the-dry-cleaners!-Do-you-have-brothers?-Sisters?-What's-your-name-and-what-do-you-do?," he asked, breathlessly. I looked at him briefly, long enough to notice that he had inexplicably gathered his newspaper into a ball on his lap. "I'm-from-around-here.-Are-you-from-around-here?-Are-you-married?-Are-you-single?-Are-you-gay?-Are-you-straight?-Have-you-ever-been-to-Eastern-Europe?," he continued. By now I realized that he was one Matzoh Ball short of a soup. "Gai Ga Zinta Hate!," he said, "Do you know what that means in Yiddish?" "Yes," I said, you've already asked me that. It means 'Go in Good Health.'" "Well, in that case, Gai Kukken Afen Yam!," he said, "That means 'Go Shit in the Ocean!'" "Thank you," I replied, "An excellent suggestion ... and a big Muzzle-Tov to you!"

5 comments:

Ken Riches said...

He certainly seems a bit salty :o)

Sage Ravenwood said...

No matter who they are, I have no patience with someone who fires off one question after another and never gives you time to answer. (Hugs)Indigo

garnett109 said...

Go shit in the ocean LMAO!

Myra said...

Worse that politicians, people of the cloth get on my nerves! If I wanted a sermon, I'd be in church. His questions don't require answers, do they? Because you don't have a chance!

Rose said...

Too funny but he would have annoyed the hell out of me! Next time, just say you are expecting a friend and saving the seat....Oh my.......what a pain in the *ss!