Heads were turning at 7th and Montana this morning thanks to Barista Tyler, who seemed intent on exposing my hidden-camera shenanigans by providing loud color commentary on my every move. "Here comes Marty with his Grande Half Caff," he began. "He's grabbing the newspaper, he's walking towards a table ... no wait, he's pulling out his camera phone. Watch out, folks, unless you want to be on the Internet ...!" I tried to ignore him, but finally couldn't take it anymore. "Listen, Tyler, you dog: One of these days I'm going to throw a shoe at you!" "I don't mind," Tyler responded, cheerfully, "As long as it's a size 10." Thank God I didn't have any Weapons of Mass Destruction handy. Tyler's antics almost caused me to miss getting a photo of the Fashion Plate pictured below: An Anonymous Ne'er-do-Well who made the scene this morning wearing a plastic garbage bag and a pair of orange boxer shorts on his head.