Bells were ringing at 7th and Montana today as friends and neighbors celebrated the holidays in high style. Actually, the festivities began last night with a party at Kathy's house, where a group of friends joined Kathy and her family in a pull-out-all-the-stops Christmas Eve Extravaganza. The menu was five-star -- including Salmon with Lime-Dill Sauce, Asparagus, Roasted Potatoes and a Dazzling Array of Desserts -- but it was the dinner conversation that provided the real food for thought. Somehow, a heated discussion erupted over the best way to dispose of a murder victim. Some said "chop the body up into little pieces and hide them all over town," while others preferred a cleaner approach. It was Kathy herself, however, who cooked-up the most ingenious solution. "I've got it!," she said while serving dessert, "Make the corpse into a Jell-O Ring!" All I can say is, thank God Kathy's not a Career Criminal. Speaking of which, the Notorious Neighborhood Newspaper Thief was back on the scene this morning, stealing newspapers from Our Favorite Starbucks on Christmas Day. This time, however, his theft was balanced out. Moments after he fled the scene, an Unfortunate Nincompoop lost a fistful of change in a malfunctioning newspaper machine. Happy Holidays, one and all ...!