Wednesday, December 10, 2008

DON'T TOUCH THAT DIAL ...!


Bells were ringing in my hotel room here in Miyazaki this morning as I made the mistake of picking-up the mysterious "Emergency Phone" hanging over my toilet. O.K., I'll admit it, for three days now I've been wondering, "Why does my toilet come with an Emergency Phone?" Japanese toilets tend to be extremely high-tech and the one in my hotel room is no exception. The seats are heated, various buttons shoot streams of water in different directions and, every time you sit down, birds chirp. But, in all my travels throughout Japan, this is the first time I've ever seen a toilet that comes with its own, private "Batphone." I had to pick it up, just to see if Commissioner Gordon was on the other end. He wasn't. Instead, after several seconds, the phone started screeching uncontrollably. I knew it was just a matter of time before men in white lab coats came to take me away. Thinking quickly, I called the front desk. "Hello," I said, "I'm sorry to bother you but I accidentally set off an alarm in my room. Could you turn it off?" "Is everything OK?," asked the concierge. "Everything's fine," I said, "Nothing a little Kaopectate can't handle ...!"

9 comments:

Saltydawg said...

I suppose chirping birds is better than listening to yourself break wind!
Gaz ;-)

Beth said...

Instead of a Batphone, I suppose it should be a....

No, I'm not going there.

I see your Meez is holding mistletoe. [smooch!]

Beth

Amy said...

Chirping birds on the toilet? Is that supposed to relax you? LOL

emikk said...

I probably would've mistaken it for a fart detector myself, Marty, I'm impressed how you can think on your feet, er, I mean (toilet)seat!

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

How em-bare-assed you must have been :o)

Lynne said...

Oh my goodness...chirping birds? LOL

Myra said...

How can you continue to tend to your "business" when there are birds chirping in your well, you know!

barb said...

you sure come up with a lot of interesting stuff!! my daughter in MN has been reading you too and thinks you should write a book!! take care and come home soon,, barb

garnett109 said...

Holy Bat shit Boywonder!
Lmao! Thanks