Ladies and Gentlemen, meet "Toots Galore," a local woman with an unusual gift: She farts with military precision. I was walking behind her today on 3rd Street and I couldn't help noticing that on every fourth step she let out a little toot. It was 'Fart ... two, three, four; Fart ... two, three, four" and so on all the way from Idaho to California. I finally caught up with her as she approached Wilshire. She looked at me. I looked at her. Rather than blow the photo opportunity, I whipped out my spycam and pretended to make a call. "Hi, it's me," I said, holding the spycam to my ear, "I'm heading to the Promenade, want to join me? It'll be a real Gas ...!"