THE WOOKIE'S GUIDE TO ETTIQUETTE!

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet "Chewie," the delightful young woman with table manners from a Galaxy Far, Far Away. I met Chewie this afternoon at the "lunch counter" at Whole Foods in Beverly Hills. She was eating a bran muffin the way Foghorn Leghorn eats an ear of corn: one tiny kernel at a time. She slowly, painstakingly pinched one crumb after another from the top of her muffin, then chewed each piece separately at least 32 times. I pointed my Spycam at her and took her picture, only to realize with a shock that I hadn't put it on mute. A loud camera shutter went off right in her ear. She looked at me. "Oops," I said, trying to cover my tracks, "I never can get this silly thing to work right. Don't you just hate crummy merchandise?" She completely ignored me. I guess one person's crummy is another person's crumby ...!