Heads were turning at Our Favorite Starbucks this morning as an Anonymous Automaton made the scene, intent on celebrating Father's Day by staring off into space with what can only be described as an Inanimate Bundle of Joy in his arms. Amazingly enough, the Automaton (pictured above) sat silent and motionless for close to an hour. He didn't blink. His face was frozen in a Perpetual Scowl. He held a motionless bundle close to his chest which, for all I know, might have been a Ventriloquist's Dummy or a Kilbasa Sausage in a Baseball Cap. "Don't look now," I said quietly, "But I think we're having a Very Norman Bates Father's Day here at 7th and Montana ... if he hails a Taxidermist, I'm outta here!" Happy Father's Day, everyone!