IT'S MEOW OR NEVER ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Fur was flying at 7th and Montana this morning as word spread that there's a new Crazy Cat Lady in town. "We already have a Crazy Cat Lady," said one local resident, "Why do we need another?!?" "You're right," I replied, tactfully, "But let's face it, we need some fresh blood. This newcomer might be just the Change We Need!" For the record, the Incumbent -- a woman known locally as "Rosemary Looney" based on the sheer volume of cats she can squeeze into a one-bedroom condo -- has been something of a Lame Duck. No one has seen her for more than a year. Her challenger, a grizzled woman in her early forties, is a force to be reckoned with. I spotted her last night at the Gelson's Market, arguing with the Deli Manager. "I told you," she shrieked, "I need another quart of Tuna Juice. What's so difficult about that?!?" A Large Orange Tabby Cat was perched on her shoulder, taking occasional sips from a Mysterious Deli Container. The smell of Tuna filled the air. "What a beautiful cat," I said, quietly whipping out my Camera Phone, "You must be very proud." The woman took one look at me and flew into a frenzy. "You!," she hissed, "You're all alike. You just want to steal my cat!" I backed away as quickly as possible and escaped to the Frozen Foods Aisle. As for the Cat Lady, she was last seen at the Salad Bar sharing a Tender Moment -- and a Tender Vittle -- with her Feline Companion!