Saturday, January 3, 2009


It was a Bittersweet Moment at 7th and Montana this morning as the last of the New Year's Party Favors, a Noisemaker, lay abandoned on the sidewalk near Our Favorite Starbucks. And yet, if the past few days are any indication, there will be no shortage of Noisemakers in 2009. Let me introduce you to a few:

Meet Mr. Surround Sound. He wants the whole neighborhood to know he just got a Sony 47" Flat Screen Television with 7.1 Channel Surround Sound. And he's not shy about calling folks from his cell phone to loudly read them the technical spec sheet, either. I just have one question, Sir: Does it come with a Mute Button?!?

Next up are the Sirens of 7th Street, a group of attractive, twenty-something women who seem to have formed their own sect. Membership is exclusive: These Decibels of the Ball only accept people who can cackle loud enough to break glass.

Then there are the Hollywood Tycoons, a pair of Fake Screenwriters who made the scene last week, intent on convincing everyone -- perhaps themselves most of all -- that they're a couple of Powerbrokers. They discussed every detail of their "project" so loudly you could hear them three tables away. Trust me, their performance isn't going to win them any Academy Awards. Ironically, they were sitting right near the Screenwriter Brothers, Mark and Rob, who were quietly and productively piecing together the next Will Smith movie.

Finally, there's Mr. Litigator, the man who spent all morning loudly convincing his friend to "Sue them for all they're worth!" I tell you, it's getting harder and harder these days to tell the ambulances apart from the ambulance chasers.

It can't be a coincidence -- all these people Spontaneously Combusting -- and I have a theory about it. People are getting nervous. Times are tough and no one wants the party to end. If that means some folks are craving more attention than usual, well, maybe that's where I come in. I'm always more than happy to give them the "shout out" they deserve ... right here in Cyberspace!


emikk said...

I think someone needs to round up all these loud mouth poseurs and throw a net over them as well as stuffing wads of used napkins into their yaps to shut them up!

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

I really liked this entry Marty. People pose and primp and posture, and do not know how rediculous they come across.

Rose said...

I'm here visiting by way of Beth and Ken.

Glad I stopped by. I enjoyed your Blog and put myself down as a follower.

Hugs, Rose

Beth said...

I got a special kick out of the "Decibels of the Ball" and their cackling! I recently watched the "I Love Lucy" episode in which she makes a bet with the gang that she will tell nothing but the truth for 24 hours. At her bridge club, she tells Marian--who has a horrible cackling laugh--that she's been waiting years for her to lay that egg! I wonder if your Starbucks will be able to start serving omelets soon...?!

Looking forward to meeting you Wednesday! Safe travels....

Hugs, Beth

Hugs, Beth

garnett109 said...

if they are over a hundred and ten decibels call the cops they are breaking the law!

Saltydawg said...

I bet Mr Litigator's first name is Al........ Oh man, I just crack myself up sometimes :-)
I think you should club together and rent a flame thrower for a day. That'll get rid of em all.


Mark and Elayne said...

Reminds me of the infants I took care of when I was a preschool teacher at a daycare center.
I foud duck tape works nicely.