NOISEMAKERS GALORE ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

It was a Bittersweet Moment at 7th and Montana this morning as the last of the New Year's Party Favors, a Noisemaker, lay abandoned on the sidewalk near Our Favorite Starbucks. And yet, if the past few days are any indication, there will be no shortage of Noisemakers in 2009. Let me introduce you to a few:

Meet Mr. Surround Sound. He wants the whole neighborhood to know he just got a Sony 47" Flat Screen Television with 7.1 Channel Surround Sound. And he's not shy about calling folks from his cell phone to loudly read them the technical spec sheet, either. I just have one question, Sir: Does it come with a Mute Button?!?

Next up are the Sirens of 7th Street, a group of attractive, twenty-something women who seem to have formed their own sect. Membership is exclusive: These Decibels of the Ball only accept people who can cackle loud enough to break glass.

Then there are the Hollywood Tycoons, a pair of Fake Screenwriters who made the scene last week, intent on convincing everyone -- perhaps themselves most of all -- that they're a couple of Powerbrokers. They discussed every detail of their "project" so loudly you could hear them three tables away. Trust me, their performance isn't going to win them any Academy Awards. Ironically, they were sitting right near the Screenwriter Brothers, Mark and Rob, who were quietly and productively piecing together the next Will Smith movie.

Finally, there's Mr. Litigator, the man who spent all morning loudly convincing his friend to "Sue them for all they're worth!" I tell you, it's getting harder and harder these days to tell the ambulances apart from the ambulance chasers.

It can't be a coincidence -- all these people Spontaneously Combusting -- and I have a theory about it. People are getting nervous. Times are tough and no one wants the party to end. If that means some folks are craving more attention than usual, well, maybe that's where I come in. I'm always more than happy to give them the "shout out" they deserve ... right here in Cyberspace!