Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Miss Fidget, the Professional Germ-o-Phobe who sat next to me last night on United Flight #166 to Boston. Shortly after she boarded the plane, Miss Fidget produced a box of Antiseptic Towelettes from her carry-on bag and proceeded to carefully, methodically wipe herself down ... again and again. She recoiled at the sight of me, as if I were a Giant Streptococcus. Just for kicks, I tried coughing loudly in her direction several times but it was no good. She blocked me out with a set of earplugs and a facemask. Next time, I'll wear a T-Shirt that says, "Don't Worry ... the Doctor Says I'm not Contagious!"