TRICK OR TREAT ... AT 7TH AND MONTANA!

Confusion reigned supreme at 7th and Montana this morning as a multitude of Costumed Characters made the scene ... just in time for Halloween. "Heaven help us," I said, "It's that time of year, again!" Indeed, it's hard enough on a normal day at Our Favorite Starbucks to tell who's wearing a costume and who isn't, but on Halloween, all bets are off. Moments later, the Greasiest, Scraggliest-Looking Barista I've ever seen appeared out of nowhere to take my order. "May I help you?," he asked. He was wearing a black leather jacket and skin-tight red jeans. His shirt was halfway open, exposing mounds of Chest Hair, and he had enough oil on his head to power a small nation. I paused, briefly, before working up the courage to ask, "Are you wearing a costume?" "Yes," he replied, "I'm Freddie Mercury!" Say what you will, there's something unsettling about about watching "Freddie Mercury" pour you a cup of coffee. I guess I'm just afraid of Mercury Poisoning ...!